>My life is more grown up than I am.
So I saw Matt yesterday, I think maybe it was the day before. I go: hey I haven't seen you in a while. And he says: Well, that's because I'm never at the gym. So I go: What's the matter don't you like lifing heavy things? I guess he doesn't. Matt is someone who would rather play a video game of working out at the gym, but not actually do it. Man, everyone I know is a pussy.
Went driving around last night again, looking for apartments. The search is turning up hopeless. We'll never find something cool that we can afford. I guess we're asking TC to come down on Sunday for a matinee of Glitter. He better not flake on us. Now presenting My Amazon.com Wish List!
Later.

>They left my birthday cake out in the rain.
Last night I fell asleep sometime before ten. The only dream that I remember having was one about celebrating my half birthday at work. They had been too busy to celebrate my birthday in February, so they threw me a party six months later. I was going to have cake...but then I woke up because the lady next door gets up at 5:30 am each morning blasting AM talk radio. I almost got up to pound on the wall, much like she had done before, but decided to just suffer.
After work yesterday, I went driving around scamming on some apartments for rent. I had my list from the paper and checked out the stuff in our price range, which isn't much. Everything that I saw was just ugly. It depressed me so I went home. I want to find a new apartment for us at least before the new year.
Later.

>Could have been a sailor, could have been a book.
I will warn you now. I'm completely whiney today. My life is so boring. Just look at my last entry from yesterday. Was any of that fun or interesting? No. I'd be happier as an artist, as a lion tamer, as a magician pulling rabbits out of hats, a sky diver, a race car driver a minx. I would be, I should be, but how? I could have been one of these things first. I'll never be one of those people that tells the amazing story at a party or tells their children about the wacky trip to Europe that I took when I was a young twentysomething or about my death defying feats. I've never been to Europe and I don't expect to be able to ever afford to go. This is why I sit at home and no one calls. Or maybe because I don't attempt to communicate with people. Opting to stay in the safety and security of my own home. I don't know, I'm probably perpetuating this boring life. I'm getting caught up in the minutiae of everyday functions. I chase it in circles untill all I'm doing is running anymore and becoming exhausted as a result. How'd I get so ordinary? See, I told you I was feeling whiney.
Later.

>Cemetery Party and the Pine Box Rock.
There was a gorgeous thunder and lightening storm last night. We were able to see plenty of it while driving last night. As we drove closer to our apartment, we saw that every single light was out. Even the stop lights were out. We joked about how maybe Carl forgot to pay the electricity bill again. Got in and found the big flashlight, all set for candlelight fast food take away, and then the lights went on. So we ate and watched a documentary about the Kennedy assasination theory and the lights went out again. To our frustration, it went on and off like this all night. So, I thumbed through a portrait book by Steve McCurry, studying as well as I could by candlelight the portraits that he took in Afghanistan. Leon tried to read his Stephen Hawking book but it was too dark. He later woke me up, talking mumbly in his sleep. The lady next door listens to AM talk radio too loud. I didn't sleep as well as I wanted to. It's almost 8 AM, I've been here since 7 and it's quite nice listening to Air while the lights are all out and no one else is here. I like to be alone these days. Mainbocher!
Later.

>Back to the 916.
Boy am I glad that I don't live in Phoenix. It's a hot, dry palm tree frenzy land of golf courses and terrible intersections. Only bird of paradise flowers would have made it Orange County's bizarro ugly twin. Oh yes, and there were far too many metal horses as public art. It did have one redeeming quality, which was the interesting architecture in downtown Phoenix. Our hotel was funny. There was a huge tropical themed atrium and a koi pond. I was told that in japanese comics, koi make a sound that says "poa". The wall art in the atrium was a cliffside mural complete with cave art in the rendered "caves". I half expected Chaka to run out at me. The suite that I stayed in was bigger than my entire apartment here. I drove around, got fusrtrated and cranky about the heat, then stayed in the hotel most of Saturday. Later we went to the party, but didn't know anyone, so we left early to watch tv and drink wine. Sunday we visited the Christown store, which was next to a depressing 99 cents store. I picked up the Radiohead CD for Leon and I got the score to The Virgin Suicides movie, performed by Air that I've been looking all over for. It's creamy. Flying didn't make me as nervous as I thought. The flight back was sort of windy but everything turned out okay. I could tell immediately once we reached California. The ground below was all lush, green hills, mountains, and patchwork flat lands. I wonder if I really died on the trip and am now living in my own bizarro world?
Later.

>pack bags, call cabs and hurry home
I'm just now going through my Smiths phase. It took a while, didn't it? I wish Sheila would take the fucking bow already. I think my legs hurt more than ever today. I worked out a bit last night. Both Heathers were there. I can't figure out what to call the second Heather. I wonder if it would be okay to call her Other Heather?
Okay, if I go down in flames this weekend, just remember me like Ritchie Valens, and remember to play "Sleepwalk" by Johhny & Santo at my funeral. It's almost four so I'm nearly out of here. Just waiting for Leon to pick me up...
This should be a fun trip. I'll write about it when I get back.
Later.

>Getting up, falling down, getting up.
Rock bands these days are so boring. I hate most music on the radio. It's all stupid.
In other news, my office plants seem to be doing okay. I learned that my dracaena might become a tree. My Elephant Bush doesn't look so perky any more. He fell over in the car on the ride over, so he's a little bummed out. All of my plants are boys. They just are.
We worked out our legs last night. Now I can't walk or move with any sort of agility. I'm completely miserable. I wasn't freaked out about flying before, but now I am. I have a haircut after work, I love haircuts. I have no love for bad haircuts. I have no love for sad toys at safeway. I have no love for dirty dishes.
Later.

>and it's usually raining too.
I've decided to keep on with the Magnetic Fields lyrics as the titles for posts this week. There isn't a finer record than 69 Love Songs Volume 1. It's like a nice bag of assorted pastries.
We ate enchiladas at Leon's Mom's house. I read Leon's baby book again. It's so cute. I wish I had a baby book that he could pour over. No such luck. I barely have any photos at all of myself when I was small. That's what happens when you have busy working parents.
I'm so exhausted.
Later.

>Pantone 292.
I'm trying to eat more protien, so I keep buying these "protien-rich" energy bars. They all taste like candy and can't possibly be good for you. I went shopping again last night, but I can't find anything to wear to the party this weekend. It's so lame. I can't believe that I can't find anything at all. I bought a skirt last night, but I'm not happy with it now, so I think I'll take it back. I got lost in the parking garage of the mall last night and couldn't find my car. I imagined having to stay there all night, totally stuck. I hope that my plane doesn't crash or something lame.
Later.

>Not for all the tea in China.
I haven't been posting much lately. I've been kind of busy at work and the last week just sort of flatened my tires. I had a good weekend. Not long enough though. I would have loved sleeping in this morning. Leon is so sweet. I fell asleep on the couch last night pretty early, but he woke me up to watch part of a bollywood movie that was on the international channel because he knows how much I love those. I watched about two minutes then I fell asleep again. I love that kid.
We worked out a little bit with a trainer dude and he wrecked me, but spared Leon. My upper body is like a wound up rubber band. If I stretch too far I feel like my muscles will snap. It makes me dream about tiger balm.
We hung out with Heather, Matt, Heather and Dan the otherday. Heather and Dan are new to town and seem really sweet.
We went plant shopping and I got a couple for my desk. I hope I don't kill them.
One: Quesadillas at Dos Coyotes.
Two: It hurts so good.
Three: Kagi bag, so big.
L'Shanna Tovah.

>Fruit Loop Tea.
Earl Grey tea smells a lot like fruit loops. I'm not sure if I like that. I once had it mixed with milk, and boy did that taste like fruit loops!
So I guess I'm still going to Phoenix next weekend, despite all the hoopla. I've never been there before, but it should be fun. They're flying us out, putting us up, the works. Okay by me.
Leon was being so sweet this morning. I love that kid.
Later.

>Fucking Hell.
It's truly been a terrible week. What with all that happened in NYC, it's so depressing. We were talking about it again last night, between being fixed to CNN & MSNBC. What's going to happen now? No one knows. Unfortunately, we're still stuck with our moron leader.
Later.

>Just like everybody else does.
I went to see Belle& Sebastian twice this weekend. Both nights were so excellent, but last night was just a little bit better for me since we had a really good spot to stand on the floor. The covers: Leader of the Pack, The Boy With a Thorn in His Side, Everyday People, If You Go To San Francisco Be Sure To Wear a Flower in Your Hair (or something), Billie Jean. Some other highlights: Fox in the Snow, Legal Man, Judy & the Dream of Horses and Don't Leave the Light on Baby. Wow. We got backstage on Saturday night, but we didn't know what to do with ourselves so we just sulked in the corner until the place closed down and they kicked everyone out. I got sick from too much caffinated beverage. Yuck. On Sunday night we tried to go to Cafe Du Nord for an after party, but guilt got the best of us when we couldn't stop thinking of how early we had to be up today, so we just left. We like to talk about how much we want to live in the city. I wonder how easy it would be to just pick up and move? I wonder, would my family suddenly need me? Would I have to go back to Sacramento every weekend? It would be more difficult for me than it would be for Leon. I would love to move to the city someday, but I hope that he understands what kind of situation I'm in with my family.
Girlfriend in a coma, I know, I know it's serious.
Later.

>Number 6 !
I don't think I have anything to write about today. Maybe I can come up with something later.
Much later.
Okay, I thought of a few things.
I can't wait to move and I hope that we get to move soon. I am hoping we can do it before the winter holiday, but I'm not sure if that is realistic. Nevertheless, I check the sacbee classifieds almost daily for apartments. Usually there are one or two places that sound promising. At times it can get frustrating because many places don't allow pets at all. Fuckers.
Later.

>Very Mondrian.
I hate those Old Navy commercials about the hip hugger pants where all these skinny white chicks are prancing about shaking their tiny hips. They make me feel bad about my body. I saw one last night and it made me get up and go to the gym. I got there, moved around quickly for a while, and lifted some heavy things many times in a row and came home all sweaty and sick. Leon made me some soup which made me feel better. We watched blind date for a while. That show is so tragic! Everyone just ends up totally hurt. I think that they plan the shows that way, they put people on dates that would just hate eachother. It makes me squirm. But I just have to watch when ever I catch it on television. Crystal, clear, unfuzzy, unsnowy television. Ah.
Later.

>Double Nightmare.
I keep having nighmares about people dying. Except one that was about me walking and holding this baby bunny that was scratching up my arms, but I couldn't let it go. Soon enough it stopped scratching and became very pleasant and affectionate. I guess that was more of an anxiety dream.
Long weekend. I wish I were still sleeping in bed. I spent too much money this weekend and now I have to go home and eat soup for lunch all week.
Becky's birthday is coming up so I guess I had better call her.
Later.