Monday, October 31, 2011

Could not have said it better



There's a certain voice of parent blogging I am drawn to: the realistic, dry and witty sort. Give me anti-glamor and spit up any day. I've been in those trenches and when I'm not grumbling about the unfair number of butts I have to wipe on a daily basis (three, because I want you to know), I love to laugh about it. I fancy myself a kind of a parenting war vet. Were you in the shit? I was in the shit and it was shit.

Here's a particularly wonderful post from a blog I found via Dooce (another favorite). It perfectly sums up so much of my parenting experience.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

FIVE



Five years ago (and a day now) I was huffing and puffing to squeeze this baby out. Well, that's how I remember it. More likely I was moaning and groaning and thinking "I cannot possibly push harder than I just pushed! Just reach in and pull it out! And please let it be just a huge burrito because I'm starving and you people won't let me eat."

After I survived childbirth, they actually let me bring tiny Ira home. I really had no idea what to do with a baby. I thought I did, but I didn't. Ira lived anyway and he's five now! He has wanted to be five for SO long. A few times earlier this year, he thought he could will it to be his birthday. There was a lot of crying and pleading, some magical thinking. I think I was just as happy as he was yesterday morning when I woke him up and said "good morning five-year old!"

One thing I love about this kid (among countless other things) is that he is funny. It might be mom and dad's influence by feeding him jokes or exposing him to different kinds of humor (all child appropriate of course) and explaining why it's funny, but a big part of it is he really just loves to laugh and to make people laugh. This exchange between him and Leon the other day had me in stitches.

Leon (packing up Ira's lunch in the morning): Ira, do you want lemonade in your lunch or [scans the fridge, doesn't see another choice] lemonade?

Ira (without missing a beat): Lemonade. No, wait. [long pause] I mean lemonade.

LOLZ.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

The one where I pretend I'm some kind of athlete



I don't know why I feel like belittling this, but I am. I rode a bike! For a long time. At the end of the ride, I got a medal and this picture. A picture that proves I did it, this riding for a long time. It was the easiest hard work and the sense of capability I gained from it is so sweet.

I practiced a lot, so it wasn't something that most folks could just wake up and pound out. I whined and cried about the long hours spent on my bike trainer machine, but all the long training rides I got to do on the bike trail more than made up for it. There's something excellent about riding a bike that I couldn't get from running (being in injured runner is how I got into this cycling business in the first place). I love being able to keep up a good cardio work out for hours (heck yes, I said hours). I also love being able to carry on a conversation with my fitness buddy (hi, HH!) or completely zone out if I so chose. It's a great social sport and as a pretend athlete, that's important to me. Loving the work made it easy and now that I know what I can do, I want to do it again. Next season! For money! AND GLITTERING PRIZES!

And as an aside, just between you and me (and the internet) I had to majorly retouch my upper lip in this photo because I'm having the biggest battle with age/nature, who has gifted my face with the most unflattering dirt 'stache. It's kind of like a freckle, shaped like a very uneven mustache. This dirt 'stache if you will, is longer on one side and it is shaped EXACTLY like my dad's perfect Lowrider 'stache that he's had every day of his life (that I can ever remember). I look so much like my dad, it weirds me out sometimes.

Friday, October 07, 2011

Fashion blerg

Fashion blerg

Old Navy smock shirt
$15 - oldnavy.gap.com

Joe's Jeans flare jeans
$179 - neimanmarcus.com

Steve Madden platform wedge
$130 - bloomingdales.com

Kimberly McDonald heart shaped necklace
£7,255 - brownsfashion.com

Worthington metal jewelry
$13 - jcpenney.com

Butter London 3 Free Lacquer Nail Polish
$14 - zappos.com



I forgot how to dress my feet for winter. I have been thinking about booties (shooties? I kind of hate both words) for a while now. They seem kind of practical in the way where they'd make me taller and keep my toes warm if it's cold out. Here's a feasible outfit. All I'd need is to find some booties/shooties to make it happen.

Thursday, October 06, 2011

Neon takes Manhattan


Our East Coast trip continued on to New York. We have some people there. Friends and family types. It was great to see all their faces.



It was Ira's second time to Manhattan, the first time being when he was only 10 months old. This year, he was able to make some good memories. We promised him a trip to Times Square, so he could see the big city chaos. Everyone's got to do it once.



We got around much easier in Manhattan thanks to the subway. Ira loved it. We gave him an expired Metro Card and he had a blast carrying it around. I had so many worries about him falling down stairs, getting stuck in the doors, falling on the tracks. But you know what? Everything was fine. It was nerve-wracking for me but he was much braver.



Rar. On one of the days, we went to Chinatown for delicious vegan dim sum (thanks Les!) and basically walked all the way to the High Line.



Les and Ira at a talking fountain at the High Line. If you are anywhere in the world and you run into Les, she can tell you where to eat. Listen to her and eat there. I swear she knows all the best spots. Plus, she's hilarious and has excellent taste in '80s and '90s R&B. She's that good! Unfortunately, thousands of miles separate us, otherwise I'd be hanging out with her every day.



You can't tell by this photo, but the High Line was such an amazing green space. After this photo, we got caught in a torrential storm and had to cab it back to our apartment.



We spent another day at the beach on Long Island. Here's Ira taking a little break from the waves. I had such a blast with him there! We started out a little cautious because he seemed a bit afraid. Once we got in up to our ankles, some seaweed came and wrapped itself around our legs. To make sure that he didn't freak out too bad, I fake-screamed "octopus!!" and started shaking it off my feet. He thought that was hilarious and that's how I minimized a potential freak out. Before we left, he was sitting in the waves and even letting Leon take him out pretty far for some wave-jumping.




We also spent a day at Bronx Zoo where there was no shortage of adorable kids with a variety of East Coast accents. There is possibly nothing cuter. We caught some kids in a stroller on their way to the bear exhibit. "Beahs, beahs, beahs!" On the subway home, we overheard another kid telling his mom he was hungry. "Ma, I'm so hone-gry. You said I could have a hawt dawg. Mammy, I want a hawt dawg." I almost died it was that cute. I tried to get Ira to recreate the experience for me, but it's not the same really.




On one of our last days, we went out to Brooklyn to visit some friends. Here's the mayor of Windsor Terrace. Ira took the picture and I electronically removed the booger from her precious nose. She was still cute with it, but come on, I'm kind. You're welcome.

Tuesday, October 04, 2011

Anyone see the sports ball game last night?



Ridiculous conversation about sports, where we prove we don't know jack. Leon tries to describe a sports game on a TV behind me while we were out to dinner last night. It was like the blind leading the blind.

L: What's the pirates team?
Me: Huh? The Pirates are from Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh Pirates.
L: No, football. There's a jolly roger.
Me: It's the Raiders! You should know that.
L: No, they have a different thing.
Me: What is this? XFL? (Is that a thing anymore?)
L: No, this is Monday Night Football. What's the team with the horse shoe?
Me: Oh, that's the Cowboys!
L: Nawwwww....
Me: Wait, the Cowboys have a star, right?
L: The Mavericks?
Me: Dude, that's basketball! Is it the Broncos?
L: Nope.

At that point I just turned around and waited for the halftime thing to end. It was the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Indianapolis Colts. We're not sports people.