Don't call it a comeback.

I've been here for years. Thank goodness I'm back in Sacramento. A recent work-trip to Seattle and Portland only confirmed my true love of Sacramento. Here are some haikus to illustrate my experiences. Overall, it wasn't bad. I'd have had more fun if I weren't working.

Seattle
Seafood restaurants,
why must there be so many?
No fish for me please.

Damn this stupid place.
The streets are so confusing.
Where is free parking?

At Sorry Charlie's,
it's like a David Lynch film.
Red lights, smoky air.

Cha Cha Lounge, cheap drinks.
John from 764-Hero
serves me beer, that's weird.

In Capitol Hill,
they have veggie restaurants.
My boss won't eat there.

Portland
Big city, you aren't.
Tiny town with tall buildings.
Yeah, that's more like it.

Running out of gas:
"Ma'am, don't get out of the car.
I'll pump it for you."

Laurelhurst, the homes!
So cheap, so big, and so old.
Sure, I could live here.

Stupid, just stupid.

Here's a post to feed my current self righteous state:

>From: "I can't get over my old band"
>Date: Fri Mar 21, 2003 1:46 am
>Subject: Re: Rap vs. Pop

>Rap is gay.

>The fact that a retard like Jay Z can do it proves that it's easy. At
>least most of the lame fuckers who sing pop music don't bother to
>even
>pretend that they can write.

>Ya'll can talk until you're blue in the face, but rap is ridiculous.
>Sure, it may be good fun at times, but it is NOT an art form.

>If you chose to believe that being able to rhyme is a great
>achievment, that hawking any and every logo known to mankind is a
>statement, that acting like a pouty little pussy who think's he's a
>baddass is cool...well, be my guest.

>But don't expect any respect from me or the many of us who know
>better.

>The day I start believing that some dickwad like Ice Cube is in any
>way relevent or entertaining...feel free to blow my goddamn head off.

>I mean, Snoop Dogg is a funny guy. He's all lanky and laid back and
>stoned and shit...kind of like a character from Fat Albert...but that
>doesn't mean I need to listen to him whine about being busted right
>after he finishes bragging about breaking the law.

>Those who this type of music really speaks to should not be listening
>to it. They should be saving their money, feeding their children and
>bettering their situation.

>Those who like to pretend that this shit speaks to them are basically
>"slumming it" at the expense of the less fortunate.

>It's a giant con job. there is a reason "respect" is so commonly used
>in the hip hop circles. They are all aware that they are a farce and
>don't deserve any...therefore they feel the need to demand it.

>Rap is for suckers...end of story.

>Skiptard

And then I said:

From: "Teeni Santini"
Date: Fri Mar 21, 2003 10:04 am
Subject: Re: Rap vs. Pop

Oh my God, are you kidding? If not, this is your ignorant opinion
and I disagree with you wholeheartedly. First of all, all rap music
that you hear on the radio is pop music. It's popular music. It's
catchy, people dance to it and it appeals to a wide variety of youth
and adults. Rhyming is an integral characteristic of popular rap
music. True, you don't have to be a genius to rhyme verse in any
style of music, but rap uses rhyme to integrate the vocals with the
beat and rhythm of the song. There's more to making rap music than
you really know. And while there are a lot of bling-bling rappers out
there who rap about things they probably can't afford like Escalades,
Burberry, Cristal and Manolo Blahnik boots, it's all part of the
show, image and culture of this industry...it's party music, it's
fun, it's not the gospel. Just so you know, Ice Cube is not
the "dickwad" you think him to be. Not only is Ice Cube (O'Shea
Jackson) a talented screenwriter (Friday is one of the best "dumb"
urban comedies), actor, musician, producer, businessman, but he also
holds a degree in architectural drafting. Furthermore for you to
allege that the only group that rap speaks to, are people who
regularly have trouble feeding their children and are in bad
situations, is absolutely ignorant. Are you really saying rap is for
poor, black people? First of all, there are so many rappers out
there that are amazing social commentators. Nas, Common,
your "dickwad" Ice Cube, KRS-One, NWA, A Tribe Called Quest, Queen
Latifa, Jurassic 5, and there are more. These artists have addressed
issues that appeal to all kinds and all colors of people: racial
equality, love, police brutality, politics, gender equality,
vegetarianism and so much more.
Rap is not made for just poor, disenfranchised, ethnic people. On
some levels it speaks to far more than you think. And I urge you to
educate your self on rap before you denounce the whole genre
as "gay." Your generalizing of this genre only shows your
ignorance.

Teeni Santini

Today's horoscope:

In the evening: Go to an exciting movie! A thriller would probably suit you just fine!

Instead, I'm playing a Frenchmen show while the Lakers vs. Kings game is on television. However, if neither of these events were happening tonight, I would definitely be down for an exciting movie (!), like a thriller (!).

The illusion of me.

My sister thinks that I'm made of money. Somehow "let's take mom out to lunch for her birthday" turned into let's have Teeni treat the whole family to pizza and salad. She has no idea that I live check to check like everyone else and it's time she finds out.

Feeling wanty.

Wanting:
To have time to finish my book.
Jello Pudding pops in chocolate, vanilla and swirl.
A hot dog with plain potato chips and baked beans.
That new Lucksmiths CD.
A clean house.
Somebody to make me a crush mix including "Do You Realize" by the Flaming Lips. But it can't be just a bunch of random love songs. Each song has to have special meaning. Lots of thought has to go into it.

My callings.

-----Original Message-----
From: Santini, Teeni
Sent: Thursday, March 13, 2003 8:50 AM
To: 'Heather Saucy'
Subject: RE: Adresses


Tell me about it. I missed a lot of callings, television tester, cat sitter, professional shopper, food critic.

Teeni

-----Original Message-----
From: Heather Saucy
Sent: Wednesday, March 12, 2003 6:12 PM
To: Santini, Teeni
Subject: RE: Adresses


you totally missed your calling.
you would be the ideal librarian,
so organized,
so fastidious,
so so so! :) thanks for the address!



-----Original Message-----
From: Santini, Teeni
Sent: Wed 3/12/2003 3:18 PM
To: Heather Saucy
Cc:
Subject: RE: Adresses



Here's the address for Mister Smith:

1234 Candy Lane
Sacramento, CA 95666

I feel much better now. Mmmm. Closure.

Teeni

Tee Ceeeeee.

Sir, I need your mailing address. Please email me.

Last night, she said.

Mmm. Chips and...chips! We should be able to make it because we're trying to leave tonight before 6. We'll call you when we get into town.
P.S. The before party is the new after party.



-----Original Message-----
From: amy p
Sent: Thursday, March 06, 2003 9:56 AM
To: leon
Cc: Teeni
Subject: tonight


hey
virginia & i and some friends are planning on meeting
at edinburgh castle before the show tonight for some
brews & fish'n'chips. i don't know when you guys were
planning on getting here, but if you want you should
come to the 'before party.'

xo
amy

Be nice to me.

I tried to give blood today. Here I am sitting in the blood mobile reading a People magazine from a year ago and everything just went wrong. Somehow, the pricker manages to hit a nerve and I'm in so much pain that I instantly start crying. So we try the other arm and that one's not much better. I'm wrapped up so tightly at each elbow that I now know what it feels like to be a barbie, arms in permanent right angles. So if you see me at the Aisler's Set show tonight, no I'm not a junkie. It just wasn't my day in the the blood mobile.

Water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink.

More often than not I stop at the grocery store on my way to work to pick up a bottle of water. I try to drink a liter everyday. Generally, this keeps my craving for Pepsi at bay. However, when I'm running late or feeling forgetful, I sometimes skip the grocery store stop and end up at work waterless. On Monday I decided to refill a bottle that I had here with water from the drinking fountain. There's also a water machine here, which I don't use anymore because the spigot is moldy and it made me sick for about a week until I figured out what was causing it. So anyway, I'm filling up my water bottle at the drinking fountain, studying the Willie Nelson-bald eagle-jet liner watercolor painting on the wall and I look down to cap the bottle and the water is brown! Thouroghly disgusted, I showed several people, warned them not to drink the water anywhere in the office and then promptly snagged a bottle of water reserved for our VP staff.

There has to be an OSHA law against this.

Cringer.

I feel like a prize horse's ass. Saturday night / Sunday morning I became far drunker against my better judgement and was not only loud but obnoxious and annoying. As I keep thinking about it (at least whatever I can remember), I double over and wince.

Vodka makes me invincible.