Please.

Please don't make me talk about how stressed out I am, I'll just start crying and make mascary eyes.


So, this is what I'm pretending to be really excited about instead of stressing out on the wedding.

1. Live chat with America's Next Top Model winner, Yoanna House at 1:30 PM! I have three questions for her.

2. My bachelorette party on April 9.

3. Getting our marriage liscense today at 4:20.

What? Okay, I'll tell you what my most stressful thing is about this freaking wedding: money. I have spent every last drop of every paycheck on wedding stuff for the last few weeks. And I still have more things to buy. Jewelry for the wedding, a getaway outfit, make up, hair, tan, manicure and pedicure. Uggh, and all that alcohol for the reception. I wanted to buy another swim suit, but at this point, that's just wishful thinking. I just called AP looking for that expense check they owe me from Hawaii. I could sure use that $178 right about now because my $37.00 checking account balance is just not going to get me through next week.

A cycle of anger.

In my office, we have this cycle of anger theory. If you could chart your anger out on paper, it will follow a circular path and evolve along the way.

(imagine this is a circle shaped chart)

Issue occurs and then you feel....
1. Extreme annoyance.
2. Anger.
3. Disbelief.
4. Indifference.
5. It's just laughable now.

I have several issues right now that are in different stages on this anger cylcle. Let's see if I can sketch them out where they are.

That guy at work: 4
That lady at work: 5
My boyfriend's work (never busy over there until I need him): 1
Wedding crap: 4
My band: straddeling 4 and 5
My mom: 3
That zit on my nose!: 2

As you can see, I'm just beginning the cycle on some of these and close to ending on others. Just getting this out makes me feel a little better, a little like I have it all sorted out in a way.

Hood Sweater

:

Jay-Zeezer

I went to Hawaii. I got sunburned. And all I got was this lousy tan.


Hawaiian Trip Top 5:

1. Tropical island paradise.
2. All those chocolate covered macadamia nuts.
3. Fragrant leis. Polynesian ginger, yum!
4. Stealing continental breakfast.
5. ATV riding in Kahua Ranch.
6. Meeting Miss America 2001.
7. Window shopping at Chanel, Prada, Hermes, Gucci and Gianni Versace.
8. Daiei and Shirokuya, Japanese Walmart-type stores.
9. Took up coffee drinking.
10. Best pina coladas ever. EVER!

Hawaiian Trip Bottom 5:
1. Missing Leon.
2. Falling feet in the air, flat on my back in a parking garage in front of a bunch of people and ruining my white sweater.
3. No time to swim.
4. Forgetting to bring my camera on the ATV ride.
5. That sunburn.
6. The horrifying combination of the humidity and my hair.
7. Window shopping at Chanel, Prada, Hermes, Gucci and Gianni Versace.
8. The tick I thought I got turned out to be an abnormal mole. I'm watching it and plan to see the doctor if it gets weirder.
9. A United screw up that made my arrival time 10 hours later.
10. Those pesky meetings I had to be in for work.

2:27 AM - 3:17 AM

Last night I dreamed that I was chasing a borzoi around a gas station in Oregon. It was raining.

I woke up this morning in the wee hours fretting about the rehersal dinner. Where, how much, how many? I got up to go blow my runny nose and got a tissue full of blood. I went back to bed, but stayed awake for another hour or so, trying to calm down. My blood pressure must have been a little high.

It's almost 10:00 AM now and I'm so tired. Trying to wake up by drinking caffinated tea. I'm not sure if it's working. In the background Yo La Tengo is telling me that I Can Have It All.

Hanging on the telephone

All morning I've been trying to get three things done.

1. Get through to Nine West customer service about my pending order. They're not picking up.

2. Get 2 tickets to the Pixies show. It sold out after I tried for a half an hour to get through.

3. My job. MY JOB!!!


Neither are working out for me. I feel like going home.