NBA haiku.

John Stockton's short shorts
are the smallest in the league.
He's hiding kiwis.

Crazy lady movie and belly rolls.

I love the Women's Entertainment channel. They seem to have a never ending supply of campy '70s and early '80s movies with female leads. This weekend I was so fortunate to catch Mahogany, starring Diana Ross, Anthony Perkins, and the ever suavecito Billy Dee Williams. An emaciated Diana Ross gnashed her teeth and screamed through most of it. What a crazy lady. I loved it.
Since December, I haven't been doing any weight training, just cardio. I think I need to take up some weights again. I started to gain a few pounds. A month ago, the cleaning lady at the office told me my ass was getting bigger (it was meant to be a compliment). And I thought, yes, my ass is bigger....and it shakes when I dance. How novel! But by this mornining this weight thing has gone too far. While walking down the stairs to my car, I noticed that with each step, my belly was a jiggle. And this weekend while riding in the car to San Francisco, I went to grab something from the floor of the car and couldn't reach it because of my new belly rolls. Something has to be done.

Pizza quest.

Leon and I love checking out places in Sacramento that we aren't totally familiar with. We take delight in driving through uncharted (to us) back roads of suburbs and just overall finding areas that seem out of place in this town that we claim to know like the backs of our hands. Last night was another delight. If you're following along here, I've been on the quest for good pizza for some time now. I've tried quite a few places, yet none stack up to Zelda's famed pies. Two of the places that came with high recommendations from fellow Zelda's fans turned out to be worse than Pizza Hut, in my opinion. I was beginning to loose hope. So, right, anyway....last night we headed out to Stockton blvd. and 14th ave to Luigi's Piz (the rest of the neon was burned out, so I can only imagine that it's supposed to be Luigi's Pizza). Luigi's is on a stretch of Stockton that I'm not too familiar with, so it was kind of neat to check this place out. The inside decor was sheer dive fare. There was a pizza counter, a bar, several picnic-style tables, the best old school R&B jukebox in town and a big screen TV. The no-frills menu offered a few specialty pies (combination, vegetarian), but for the most part, you just pick your toppings individually. At the counter, we ordered a large mushroom, olive, tomato and fresh garlic pizza, then found a table in the back. The wait was maybe 20 minutes and we passed the time watching the Spurs vs. Suns game and singing along to the old school slow jams (well, I was singing). Before too long, the pizza arrived at our table. It looked and smelled great. All of the toppings were fresh and the sauce was slightly tangy. Best of all, the cheese was perfectly melted and tender. I loved it so much that I greedily scarfed down 4 pieces before I knew what hit me. Best of all, when we called last night to check hours (Sunday), they stated that they were open until midnight. Holy crap. I'm definitely going back.

Sent from the desk of my emo postcard factory.

Sitting in the waiting room at the car dealership, I feel like a child. There's the men, cross legged with their news papers, the stuffy morning news cast and a self-serve coffee machine. Who am I kidding?

I feel a little better now.

Because now I never have to pay Capitol One Mastercard again.





EVER.

In Need of Rest.

I can't wait for my vacation day this Friday. Maybe that's why I've been so agitated lately. I'm like a cranky toddler in need of nap time....or a super special suprize trip to a day spa where I can sit in hot volcanic mud, get a killer back rub from a lady named Olga, and get my feet rubbed and my nails painted red.

Yeah, something like that. I'd even settle for a dinner date, a walk and a back rub.

Somebody has a case of the Mondays!

Today, I am so cranky. Just thouroughly annoyed with everything.

Art dept guy: You have to pick more minis for the 4/23 market champs in Portland because the Heart in-store is only in Seattle.
Me: What? Didn't we already do this?
Art dept. guy: No.
Me: (Audible sigh). Okay, I'll do it later. LATER.

Office lady: Blah, blah, blah coupon, blah, blah, blah.
Me: Don't do a coupon.
Office lady: No coupons?
Me: Yeah, we can't go willy nilly with coupon making anymore.
Office lady: What constitutes willy nilly?
Me: (Audible sigh). There's a meeting on it today, they'll tell you all the details. (Audible sigh, louder).

Office matron: Are you going to change your memo number?
Me: No.
Office matron: Well, you put the wrong memo number on the sheet, but it's correct in the title of the email.
Me: I know.
Office matron: Well, why not send out a revision?
Me: The stores can figure it out.
Office matron: No, they can't. There's been a lot of confusion.
Me: (Audible sigh). Fine.

Some label guy: I know I missed the deadline by about two weeks, but is it too late to get this title into your program?
Me: (Audible sigh). I'll get back to you.

I'm not in the mood for work today.

We are like giants.

Two people this year have decided to gift us with giant bottles of liquor. We have one giant bottle of Golsh beer and a comically big bottle of pino grigio. I only have one explaination for this. They've found us out. You see, when we drink alcohol, we become giant beings and regular sized bottles of beer and wine are dwarfed to us. Our benefactors are so thoughtful.
Inadvertantly, I left my favorite black cardigan at Amy's two weeks ago. Since it's the most perfect cardigan ever, I wear it nearly every day. I hadn't realized that it was such a crucial piece of my wardrobe, but now since it's laying in a sad heap on the side of a couch 100 miles away, I sure do miss it. I tried on three outfits this morning that just didn't look right without my cardigan.
These past two nights I've had work anxiety dreams that have woken me up far before my alarm is set to go off. Tuesday night, I dreamed that I was on a business trip to Hawaii. I woke up and felt the need to mentally plan out a business trip to Hawaii, in case I ever had to take one. I couldn't go back to sleep. Last night I hada dream that an ad that I booked didn't run. I woke up and planned out my morning so that I wouldn't forget to book any ads when I got into work. Then I couldn't go back to sleep...but then I did and dreamed about being on a sweepstakes show where I had to race through an obsticle course for a cash prize. I won 10th place and got a BMW and $200 in twenty dollar bills. My name was Maggie.

Like an easter egg hunt, but different!

Here's what you have to find:

A tiny diamond. Lost somewhere in the Arden area. Could be in Nordstrom Rack, could be in Old Navy. Could be in Arden Fair Mall anywhere between Macy's and the Gap.

It fell out of my totally iced out engagement bling. I mean, engagement ring. Whoever finds it gets a mega special prize.

Can't spend

I can't spend any money this week unless it's on nutritious food. That's a promise. Does pizza count?

Stolen.

Eating: Pasta with some veggies.
Drinking: Water and Pepsi. Both.
Reading: Emails.
Watching: The Bachelor!
Buying: Yo La Tengo "Summer Sun"
Feeling: Stressy.
Making: A mess.
Loving: Salt.
Thinking: Everybody's working for the weekend.
Wanting: A veggie version of the western bacon cheese burger.
Needing: Clear sinuses.

International House of Cat Hair

No matter how much we clean, the cat hair stays. It's everywhere. On our furniture, in our bed sheets, stuck to the throw rugs, on my clothes. Somekitty needs a brushing.

In my sleep

I'm a funny sleep-talker. I wish I spoke with such fluidity and meaning in my waking state.

Gang of Snails

I find this absolutely horrifying. I'm so phobic of mollusks that my
toes are curled tight as I type this. One evening a few years ago I
was ready to turn in for the night, but still needed to take the dogs
out to pee. So I leashed one up and brought her out in the front
yard, leaving my glasses and shoes inside. So I'm walking along the
front walk way and I step on and pop what I thought was maybe a
ketchup packet. So I stoop to look down and examen what I stepped on
and it was none other than a big, gross slug. I screamed like a
little girl and ran inside with tears streaming down my face. What's
worse, is that a few months prior to that I had posted a no slugs
sign in that front yard. It was printed clearly with the
international "No Slugs" symbol (Slug with a red circle and cross
through it). My roommate later told me that the smooshed slug was
travelling away from the house. Apparently the sign was working, but
the time it took for a slug to actually notice it and go the other
way was just far too long for me. I'm not sure if I've recovered yet.

I swear that thing popped.

Teeni

--- Other Amy wrote:
> But it wasn't grapes. It was 4 giant snails. And they crawled
> there on their own volition.
>
> I am suspicious about beds in general now and always peel them back
>
> before jumping in.

So tired.

The show last night was okay. One part boring, mixed with two parts beer = go sleep in the car while the Bananas played. It was a chilly night outside and the car wasn't much warmer but I was so tired, I fell asleep anyway. Leon woke me up when the show was over and he drove us home. I was still sleepy and the verbal part of my brain was still in a deep slumber. He kept asking me difficult questions that I was in no shape to answer, like "what did you eat for dinner?" I struggled for a minute, remembering the left over stir fry I ate with the peanut sauce and said "that thing with the vegetables." And he said, "what?" I tried to elaborate that it was left over from last night "you know, we ate it last holiday." It was no use. "It had the rice!" I couldn't explain anymore than that.