10/24/09

This is from yesterday. Blogger wouldn't let me post from email.

It's Ira's birthday-eve. My boy turns 3 tomorrow! Ladies, lock up your daughters.

Ready to get serious? I've been feeling so helpless in the midst of everything going on with my mom. On my way into the hospital this evening, I see two other women who are possibly living within the same scary waiting pattern. I recognize something in their faces that tells me this. One, zombie-like, waddling towards the hospital entrance, wearing an expression of exhaustion and pain. Another, drivng out of the parking lot, nervously chewing on one hand and steering with the other. And here I am: somewhere between them.. This is possibly the most helpless I've felt in my life. It's nerve wracking and excrutiatingly painful to me. Can't imagine how mom feels.

The worst possible thing

Parents
Originally uploaded by riblet.

Mom is still in the hospital, but hopefully will be able to leave soon. It's been a crazy last few days. Lot of worry, lots of crying and doctors, nurses, labyrinth-like hospital halls. What started as a trip to the ER because of a bad fall and what we thought was associated confusion and memory loss, turned into CANCER WATCH 2009. Several tests showed 3 tumors in mom's brain and some swelling related to one of them, which is causing the confusion and memory loss. So much waiting for now. We'll know more later about the actual diagnosis and treatment options later. I hate this.

In hospital

It sounds so exotic to say "in hospital" like they do on BBC News. Really, I'm at a hosptial, visiting my mom who is in the hospital as we Americans say. She had a bad fall (that I only recently found out about) a couple of weeks ago. In the last three days, she's been suffering bouts of total confusion. I just heard her tell the physical therapist that she was 91 years old (she's 61). It seems to be intermittent though. Earlier this morning, she seemed to be present. An array of tests, xrays ct scans and an MRI were run. So far there seems to be an indication of a small mass in or on her brain and some swelling. Once the MRI tests come back, we should know more. Right now it's a whole lot of waiting, in hospital. I just want to talk to a doctor, but it's Sunday and they seem to be so elusive.