So, sick. So, so, sick.



I've caught the head cold from hell. Since Saturday, I've been coughing. Since yesterday I've been congested. This whole time, I've been able to do a killer renditions of "Total Eclipse Of The Heart" and "She's Got Betty Davis Eyes."

Turn around bright eyes.

You wish you had this job sometimes, then you find out how bad it pays and you change your mind.



I got a package in the mail.

“Niki – Some recent shite for your ears to enjoy.
Thanks!”
-Frank

The goods: New releases from Club 8, Acid House Kings, Palomar, Little Darla Has a Treat For You V.18, and 11 other CDs.

Whoa, lucky me.

But just then, I remember how I don’t enjoy being here at all. How they’re taking away your support staff. How I have to do double work starting next week. How I won’t be getting paid for it. How tired I am. How my allergies have kicked in.

You’d hate it.
Later.

Ain't no party like a fondue party, 'cause a fondue party don't stop.
Or: This post sucked.



Friday. Work was slow. I tastefully cut out 5 minutes early. I don’t think anyone noticed. I headed over to band practice at 6, no one was set up so I made a Jimboy’s run for everyone. I think this was the kick we needed, because we proceeded to have the best practice ever. That and maybe because Charles moved his drums around to the right way and I actually know most of the songs now.

Busy Saturday. Waking up at 7, the morning was a whirlwind of treadmill running, haus cleaning and party food shopping. I got some prep cooking done before two VSJ people showed up for Sacramento sights. We took the VSJ lot to ales and fries. Then I parted ways with everyone so that I could get to the fondue party and set up cooking camp. I totally must have misjudged the time it would take me to cook stuff because the food didn’t even get ready until 8:30.

The Menu:
Beer Cheese Fondue
Raclette and Swiss Fondue
Mediterranean Tomato-Arugula Fondue
Chocolate Fondue
Roasted Red Pepper, Olive and Caper Salad
Top Shelf Green Salad
Tepanade Bruchetta
Fresh Tomato Bruchetta
Spinach-Artichoke Dip
Asparagus With Toasted Sesame Seeds and Sea Salt
Various dippies: Fingerling potatoes, bite size pieces of crusty bread, colby, jack and fresh veggies. Fresh fruit, angel food cake, cheese cake for the chocolate fondue.

The kitchen was totally wrecked. I drank lots of wine and ate too much cheese. Some lames, knowing full well that it was a dinner party, showed up saying they had already eaten. So, now I have a whole pot of congealed beer cheese that looks way to scary to eat. All considered, everything came out well. The best part was just watching everyone eat.

It’s Sunday, I’m in love. Sometimes it just hits me. That I love my life with you. My chest tightens up and I get all shy.
Poor Leon lost his voice, but it made for some very entertaining Barry White and Guru impressions. We’re getting a couch next week. The Apartment 2C, First Annual Spoon-athon begins next Sunday at sundown.
Later.

The Teeni Report.



I have the following things to report on:

Capers, yum.
Job, disappointment.
Running, gym.

I bought the most expensive cheese yesterday, that I've ever bought. I drove all the way out to Corti Bros. on my lunch break to pick up some raclette for the fondue. 8oz. to be precise. That shit is $12.99 a lb! Then I picked up some capers because they were there and I think I'm out. Those bastards must think I'm made of money because they charged me for the capers, but didn't put them in my bag.
My job is wearing on me again. Proof: I was having the most wicked Word formatting problem this morning, where the header would not adjust to a reasonable size. The help file, was of no help whatsoever. It almost put me in tears. I don't get paid enough to make any of this feel like the stupid shit that it is.
I was running on the treadmill at the gym yesterday, watching about three different TVs. They all have closed captioning, but I can't read anything because my contacts are so bad. So I just try to watch something and figure out what's going on. Matt Roberts came in all cool with sunglasses on, late for the kickboxing class. We waived our hellos, then he went into the class. I watched him do whatever crazy combination of kick boxing and dance aerobics moves the instructor was leading them in, which made me laugh. I wonder if he knows that I still have is scarf. I'm thinking of taking it to San Francisco and snapping some photos of myself with it, then giving it back to him. I wonder if he was annoyed with me at the Flame Club last week for making fun of the way he licked the salt off his glass of margarita. I would never lick anything at the Flame Club, from the Flame Club or 10 feet away from the Flame Club. He looks exactly like Jason Lee.
I ran for 25 minutes and got a bad case of hurty knee.
Later.

Food now.



I'm craving a grilled cheese sandwich, something awful. I've been terrible about eating and working out. I eat junk, drink too much beer and don't exercise at all. I feel crappy. Just yesterday I had the worst case of acid tummy. I came home and slept from 4:30 - 8:30. I dreamed about car chases and scottish accents. I woke up calling to the cats: Yer ma little bairns!
I woke up and shuffled over to Dan & Heather's for party planning. Leon was there helping Dan with record label stuff. Heather cooked us a curry and we watched on tv, once famous celebrities duking it out. It was kind of sad, but still entertaining. I felt especially bad for Tanya Harding, who seems to have the worst judgement ever. I guess I can't feel that bad for her. I read on some other web page about a girl that says she absorbs sadness. I think I absorb guilt and humility. So I soaked up a little of Tanya's as if I obviously can't produce enough on my own.
On Tuesday, we finally went to Lipstick at Old Ironsides. Shaun has been begging me to go for three years or something, but I only just now went. I ran into a lot of people I knew, some I hadn't seen in ages. I felt like I was walking in on a party that everyone I knew went to when I wasn't looking. But kind of in a good way, like: "Oh, I'm supposed to be here, too." Sorry, this is not coming out like I want it to. Maybe it was more like just discovering a bizzaro party world where I knew everyone. Ah'm jus a radge, se dunnae listen tae me. So I drank and mingled and caught up with everyone. I pretended to dance. I had fun, I might go again. Ben, you totally need to go with us next time. It was a tender goldmine.
Here I am now, with the stamp from Tuesday night fading on my hand, still amazed that I've known Shaun since he was 14, and he's totally a man now.
Later.

Those things that people forward to you, part 2.

1. living arrangements?
Apartment with Leon. It has that "1920s Charm." Or so the sign says so outside.
2. what book are you reading now?
"Red Lobster, White Trash and The Blue Lagoon" by Joe Queenan. Even if he talks smack about Kenny G, chain restaurants, John Tesh and bad musicals, I just have to say it. This book is too negative! I don't like it.
3. what is on your mouse pad?
A Seattle Weekly advertisement. It was free.
4. favorite board games?
Scrabbel, Trivial Pursuit, Yahtzee, Pictionary.
5. favorite magazines?
Cutie, Non-No, Lucky, Vanity Fair, New York, Shape, Bitch, Bust, Vegetarian Times, a little of everything.
6. favorite smells?
Clean laundry, lavender, grapefruit, photo chemicals, the co-op.
7. favorite sounds?
Keyboard clatter, cat bells, change jingling in my pocket.
8. worst feeling in the world?
After I've said something I know I shouldn't have.
9. first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning?
"Oh shit, do I have to go to work again?!" Or, "I can just hit snooze and sleep 8 more minutes."
10. favorite color?
Light blue, black, brown.
11. how many rings before you answer the phone?
I just let the machine get it. It's never for me.
12. future child's name?
Boys: Ira, Cecil. Girls: Stella, Marisol, Ketzl, or Freda.
13. what is most important in life?
The Beatles say "All You Need Is Love." I'm inclinded to go with that.
14. favorite foods?
Cheese, olives, cheese, mushrooms.
15. chocolate or vanilla?
Mint chip.
16. do you like to drive fast?
I would like to, but my car doesn't go faster than 70.
17. do you sleep with stuffed animals?
No, just real ones.
18. storms - cool or scary?
Exciting.
19. what type was your first car?
1983 Chevette.
20. if you could meet one person dead or alive who would it be?
A whole slew of dead photographers, filmmakers, and maybe Andy Warhol circa 1966.
21. favorite alcoholic drink?
Blended margarita, black & tan.
22. what is your zodiac sign?
Pisces.
23. do you eat the stems of broccoli?
I try not to waste precious appetite on food that doesn't taste good, so...no.
24. if you could have any job you wanted what would it be?
Art magazine photographer, forensic scientist, animal health studies professor, elementary schoo teacher, stewardess in 1960.
25. if you could dye your hair, what color?
I like mine the way it is, thanks.
26. have you ever been in love?
Everyday.
27. is the glass half empty or half full?
Fully empty.
28. favorite movies?
City of Lost Children, Ma Vie En Rose, Amelie, The Sound of Music, The Time Machine, Annie Hall, The Worst Witch, Funny Face, Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolf?
29. do you type with your fingers on the right keys?
Of course.
30. what's under your bed?
Dust bunnies, monsters, cats, cat toys and shoes.
31. what is your favorite number?
I'm partial to even numbers.
32. favorite sport to watch?
Basketball, cliff diving, olympic gymnastics and any kind of cheerleading competitions.
33. if you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?
I would be more outgoing, and when I opened my mouth to speak, only the most interesting things would come out.
34. say something about the person who sent this to you.
T.C. is a mysterious man with a very unconventional sense of humor.
35. person who you send this to that is most likely to respond?
I can't give two shits about it.
36. person you send this to who is least likely to respond?
I can't give three shits about that.
Later.

Remembering you today, in tiny pieces.



You, looking in the mirror yesterday after shaving.
Laughing with you while singing our own fake Stereolab song.
Watching you hop ahead of me on rocks somewhere on the beach in Orange County.
Reading with you in bed.
The story of you, and the dimple on my hip.
Writing a song with you last night.

Later.

They might like me.



I keep changing my mind about what I want for a real job. Forensic scientist, nah. Elementary school teacher? Maybe. Would kids like me? They might. How much more school would I have to do to make this happen? If I am able to get financial aid, I just might be able to swing it. But I have to pay off most of my debt first. Uggh. That's too much effort. Maybe I'll just work here until I'm 200 lbs with a bad perm.
Later.

Ring around the rosies



I was dragging Leon by some jewelery stores, pointing out the kinds of rings that I like. You know, just in case I'm dying and the only thing that will save my life is a 18 k white gold, round cut diamond eternity band, size 6 1/2. But I didn't see any in the windows that quite matched what I was looking for. Leon suggested that maybe a ring as such doesn't exist. I've seen many, so I knew that wasn't true. So I went to Macy's and bought a cheap cubic zirconium version.
Me: Look what I bought at Macy's for six bucks!
Leon: What size is it?
I wore it all weekend, until it started to turn my finger green. We were at the Kings game when I started to feel self concious about the discoloration on my skin, so I took the ring off and put it in my purse. It must have fallen out, because I couldn't find it when we got back from the game. Oh well, six bucks. I imagined that someone would be really happy finding it, thinking that it was a real treasure.
So I got to work on Monday and overhear some ladies talking.
Lady 1: Did you find out who that ring belonged to?
Lady 2: You found a ring?
Lady 3: Yes, it's at my house, I wonder who could be missing it?
Me: Hey, was it like, a cubic zirconium eternity band?
Ladies: That's YOURS?!
I don't usually wear rings, and they didn't peg me as the type to wear any jewelery, let alone costume jewelery. So I put some clear nail polish on the inside of the ring. Now it shouldn't turn me green.
Later.

Many Camps



Here are a couple of camps I am considering for the summer.

Hermit Training Camp:
Objective: Beginners hermit training camp is a group camping experience. You do not have solitary camping until you reach advanced hermit training camp! In the beginners camp you learn the fundamentals of living the hermit lifestyle. Solitude, cooking gruel on wood fires, being quiet.
Camp dates: June 1 - July 28.
Supplies: Burlap, soup pot, some rope, a whitling knife.

Mini Skirt Camp:
Objective: To study the influence of the mini skirt on popular culture and the ramifications of leggy lady fashion. Campers are to arrive in and with their own mini skirts. Mini skirts are to be the only items worn at all times. This is the key to Mini Skirt Camp!
Camp dates: July 14 - 28.
Supplies: Mini skirts.

I'm leaning towards Mini Skirt Camp.
Later.

Oui, Oui.



We decided on The Frenchmen as our band name. Only one of us is French, but we can all wear berets and say oui, oui like the rest of them.
This weekend was gluttenous. I ate bad food and drank terrible ammounts of alcohol from Friday through Sunday and I received at least three birthday cards with cats on them. I've been pegged as the cat lady who likes nothing but cat things. It was the best extended birthday weekend ever.
I'm now lucky to be on Denise's shitlist again. I've been told that it's because I didn't go to her birthday party in January. I don't remember what I did that night, but I was under the impression that my attendance wasn't mandatory. I also didn't think that it would be a very big deal since we were on friendly, but not close terms. I know it shouldn't astound me, but I'm absolutely amazed yet again that she has wasted so much energy and grief on me. I'll never understand it.
Later.