It's the heet.
Hot enough for you?
This week's weather is brought to you by:
The Devil. Making toast out of poor tortured souls since...well, eternity!
And Nelly. His hot single from summer 2002, "Hot in Herre" is more apropros than ever.
Thursday, June 26, 2003
Wednesday, June 25, 2003
Scary insects.
While some people are scared of spiders, they've never seemed to bother me much. However, if I cross paths with a slug, caterpillar or praying mantis, the mere sight of either of these creatures is enough to trigger fountains of tears. Earlier this afternoon I became suddenly curious about potato bugs. Having seen one on a recent camping trip, I nearly picked it up in my drunken state and held it in my hand. I decided to see if I could find out what would have happened if I did. Would it have bitten me? Maybe. More likely, it would have pinched me and I would have screamed and dropped it's fleshy body. So then I started wondering about praying mantises for some reason. Don't ask why; I'm very frightened of them. I decided to look them up and see if I could find a tell all site that would say if they bite humans or not; they don't. So I started looking up photos of these insects (goodness knows why) and nearly brought myself to tears.
If ever I were an actress, sitting in my trailer outside of a movie set, gearing up for an especially emotional scene, instead of pouring over my lines, I'd be flipping through pages in picture books all about banana slugs, praying mantises and exotic caterpillars. The gossip columnists on page six would catch wind of and write about my bizzare acting method while stalkers would take to sending me "fruit" baskets of insects and mollusks.
While some people are scared of spiders, they've never seemed to bother me much. However, if I cross paths with a slug, caterpillar or praying mantis, the mere sight of either of these creatures is enough to trigger fountains of tears. Earlier this afternoon I became suddenly curious about potato bugs. Having seen one on a recent camping trip, I nearly picked it up in my drunken state and held it in my hand. I decided to see if I could find out what would have happened if I did. Would it have bitten me? Maybe. More likely, it would have pinched me and I would have screamed and dropped it's fleshy body. So then I started wondering about praying mantises for some reason. Don't ask why; I'm very frightened of them. I decided to look them up and see if I could find a tell all site that would say if they bite humans or not; they don't. So I started looking up photos of these insects (goodness knows why) and nearly brought myself to tears.
If ever I were an actress, sitting in my trailer outside of a movie set, gearing up for an especially emotional scene, instead of pouring over my lines, I'd be flipping through pages in picture books all about banana slugs, praying mantises and exotic caterpillars. The gossip columnists on page six would catch wind of and write about my bizzare acting method while stalkers would take to sending me "fruit" baskets of insects and mollusks.
Tuesday, June 24, 2003
Tanks in downtown Sacramento.
I just wanted to take a minute and address the subject of these tanks downtown. I know you all are probably wondering to yourselves, "Where are these tanks coming from?!" I happen to know the answer to this question and it's really quite obvious.
The Tankery.
They have all kinds of tanks there. Including, but not limited to: Drunk Tanks, Fish Tanks, Think Tanks, Gas Tanks, Tank Tops, bottles of TANQueray, Septic Tanks, Tanker Trucks, Tank Girls and Dunk Tanks.
Just so you are aware. You know, about the tanks.
I just wanted to take a minute and address the subject of these tanks downtown. I know you all are probably wondering to yourselves, "Where are these tanks coming from?!" I happen to know the answer to this question and it's really quite obvious.
The Tankery.
They have all kinds of tanks there. Including, but not limited to: Drunk Tanks, Fish Tanks, Think Tanks, Gas Tanks, Tank Tops, bottles of TANQueray, Septic Tanks, Tanker Trucks, Tank Girls and Dunk Tanks.
Just so you are aware. You know, about the tanks.
Monday, June 23, 2003
Po-po.
It's not the protesting that freaks me out, but the police presence. There is an excessive ammount of heat standing about downtown Sacramento. They all look so menacing. On foot, in cars, in SUVs, mounted on horseback in helicopters. No less than THREE helicopters circled for hours yesterday afternoon and into the evening.
OK. Some of the protesting freaks me out. But just the scary black bloc protesters that run around with the black bandanas covering their noses and mouths. I don't want to eat GMO food, but please don't hate on me if I'm not out there marching and dancing in a drum circle.
Seriously.
It's not the protesting that freaks me out, but the police presence. There is an excessive ammount of heat standing about downtown Sacramento. They all look so menacing. On foot, in cars, in SUVs, mounted on horseback in helicopters. No less than THREE helicopters circled for hours yesterday afternoon and into the evening.
OK. Some of the protesting freaks me out. But just the scary black bloc protesters that run around with the black bandanas covering their noses and mouths. I don't want to eat GMO food, but please don't hate on me if I'm not out there marching and dancing in a drum circle.
Seriously.
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