Scary insects.

While some people are scared of spiders, they've never seemed to bother me much. However, if I cross paths with a slug, caterpillar or praying mantis, the mere sight of either of these creatures is enough to trigger fountains of tears. Earlier this afternoon I became suddenly curious about potato bugs. Having seen one on a recent camping trip, I nearly picked it up in my drunken state and held it in my hand. I decided to see if I could find out what would have happened if I did. Would it have bitten me? Maybe. More likely, it would have pinched me and I would have screamed and dropped it's fleshy body. So then I started wondering about praying mantises for some reason. Don't ask why; I'm very frightened of them. I decided to look them up and see if I could find a tell all site that would say if they bite humans or not; they don't. So I started looking up photos of these insects (goodness knows why) and nearly brought myself to tears.

If ever I were an actress, sitting in my trailer outside of a movie set, gearing up for an especially emotional scene, instead of pouring over my lines, I'd be flipping through pages in picture books all about banana slugs, praying mantises and exotic caterpillars. The gossip columnists on page six would catch wind of and write about my bizzare acting method while stalkers would take to sending me "fruit" baskets of insects and mollusks.