Ugh. I hope I never have to relive today. It started off with a giant spilled coffee mess and ended up with Ira and me in tears several times throughout the day. Preschool kicked our butts.
Ira crashed at ten PM last night and was up bright and early at 7:30 am this morning. I kind of knew that would get us off to a rough start, but I thought the appeal of today's "big kid school" session would have him in higher spirits. So wrong! First rule of toddler fight club is that nothing ever quite goes how mommy wants it to. Not only did he get in several squabbles over toys, but he fully cart-jacked (that's what you call it when you take someone's shopping cart at gunpoint, right?) a little girl and yelled "I shoot you! Pechooo!" The other moms went slack-jawed while I cringed and felt my heart break into pieces. These East Sac, polished moms, wearing their $300 shoes must think we're scum of the earth. I apologized profusely to the offended parties, grabbed Ira and went outside for a breather. We sat out for circle time, but took our snack quietly. Camille just so kindly reminded me that I can't be all bad because I make my own bread. I just have to figure out a way to drop that fact into conversation around the polished moms.
Later on the playground, some moms tried to console me, noting that we all have bad days. I still felt like worst mom of the year. One of them asked "where does he learn that?!" She was referring to the earlier shooting. I had to lay blame on my old school parents. Wherever Ira picked up the play shooting, TV or whatever...I don't know, but my parents perpetuate it. Ira shoots them, they shoot him back, explaining "that's what boys do, they play guns!" Maybe they do, but I was having an extremely hard time relaying to them how kids aren't encouraged to play this way anymore. Ever heard of Columbine, mom? Besides, we live way too close to Oak Park to play-shoot anyone. In telling them what happened today, through tears and all, I think they finally got my point. The toy box at their house will be thoroughly weeded through and all remaining toy guns will be thrown out.
Awful, awful day. Also, don't ever buy a huge brick of cheese at Costco and then change your mind wanting to exchange it 2 minutes after you buy it. The member service chick will make you feel guilty by telling you that they have to throw the entire brick of cheese away.
So today's lessons are:
1. Always screw the lid onto your coffee travel mug tight.
2. If you you don't think your kid is going to hack it at preschool, consider sitting that day out.
3. If the mood is right, cheese guilt can deftly bring one to tears.
