The new craze: Anxiety dreams.



The other night I dreamed that I broke Cleo's foot and couldn't get her to the vet before it closed. Then I gave myself a bad haircut.

Zzzz....

The new craze: Not stopping at crosswalks or stop signs.



Walking to my car this morning I went up to the crosswalk, saw that there were no cars at the intersection yet and began crossing. A car approached just as I was about to cross it's lane, but it kept going and stopped in the middle of the walk and past the stop line. I ended up face to face with the driver. She was obviously some kind of state worker. The window was down. She looked at me, suprised.
"Thanks for stopping!" I said.
"Well stay out of the damn strEET!" she retorted.
"I was on the crosswalk!!" I squealed.
She sped off, but I'll never forget that car.
I replayed the situation over and over in my mind. In each scenario I thought of more brazen ways to express my anger. Keying the car as I walked around it, kicking the back tail lights out, throwing a gooey smoothie at her back windsheild, writing her liscense plate down and reporting her as a wreckless driver to the police, I could have done any of these things. But I just got in my car, passed her later down the block and went on to work feeling defeated. Not knowing if she knew what she did was wrong is what really gets me. I mean, she has to know she was totally wrong first for not stopping before the stop sign, and second for not letting me cross, because I was already crossing before she even got to the intersection! Mostly, I feel defeated because I let the whole thing get under my skin. I wonder what she told her gaggle of cross stitch & needle point office friends at the coffee pot this morning.
Later.

The new dance craze: French dancing.



Three new dances to do while listening to the Frenchmen...

1. Stripey Shirt Dance
2. Waxing Moustache Dance
3. Straightening Beret Dance

If I were crafty, I would post mpegs of me demonstrating each dance, but I don't have the web space. If you want to be the lucky one to host these magical mpegs, let me know.
Fever.

Hypo.



Friday I went to Leon's sister's engagement party. We brought Heather P. with us because she's old school. Anyway, it was fun. A lot of churchy, nice people were there. The best part however was Grace. Grace is a friend of Leon's mom and she's a total nut (Grace, not Leon's mom). Knowing this, I sat Heather and I down right next to her. I've told Heather all about Grace before, but never thought she'd get the chance to actually meet her. See, the thing about Grace is that she's uber health concious. She's one of those sensitive types that's all about not eating wheat, or is always talking about getting poisoned by toxins in regular everyday stuff. Well, the converstation was pretty much going nowhere until I started itching. There might have been some bugs out, or maybe some critters fell out of the tree on to me that I was sitting under. So Grace tells me to hit my chest three times and I won't itch anymore. So I do it, and okay, my arms don't itch but my back does. By this time, she's showing us how she prevents food allergies this way, Heather is about to crack up and I'm not doing much better. I decide to just keep asking questions. So I decided to get her going on accupressure and all this crazy stuff. Anything she mentions, I just egg her on..."tell me more about the time you were seriously ill, having been poisoned by break cleaner and no doctor could tell you what was wrong while you were swelling from the waist down because your stomach was leaking like a sive, throwing your liver into overdrive." All she had to do was start taking Glutamine, and she's all better just a week later. It was fantastic. God had brought us to meet her, that's what she told us. I'll have to show you the accupressure techniques later, they're really advanced. So far I've stopped all my allergies.
Later.
(ach-oo!)