Small piece of rear

Best ever.
Originally uploaded by riblet.

I subscribe to the Sac PD blog on my RSS feeds. I like the crime logs because I'm nosy. I also find the typos and terrible grammar hilarious. Here's a funny and/or confusing one from 10/28/08:

Del Paso Heights

October 28,2008, 6:15 p.m., Natomas/Harris: Mayhem

The victim of the Mayhem stated that she was standing out near the street when she was approached by a male and female. For no apparent reason, the female began beating on the victim. The male also pulled the victim by the hair to get her off the female suspect. The victim sustained numerous scratches, a black eye, and a small piece of her rear was torn off. Detectives are still investigating the incident.

"a small piece of her rear was torn off?!" WTF? Is this a typo where they meant to write "ear?" Or was a small piece of the victim's butt torn off? How does this happen?!

Then here's another one with an obvious/unfortunate error:

Curtis Park

October 29, 2008, 6:31 p.m., 2901 Freeport Boulevard: Robbery

A victim was preparing to get off at the 4th Avenue/Freeport light rail station when another passenger walked up to him and grabbed his I-pod out of his hand and fled. The suspect was described as a black male adult, 18-19 years old, 5’10”, thing with no facial hair, wearing a red bandana, a red short-sleeved t-shirt and blue jeans.

So, we're looking for a "thing with no facial hair?" That's kind of vague.

Hey, officer Michelle. I am available for proof reading. Email me and we can discuss rates.

My child is a lolcat

Ira as a lolcat
Originally uploaded by riblet.

I've been keeping pretty busy these last few weeks. Party planning (success), menu planning (success), mothering (feels like failure, but probably a success) and job hunting (failure for now).

Ira's birthday party went off without a hitch. The weather was nice for hanging out on the deck and playing on the patio. Pizza, cake, presents, pumpkin crafts. Everyone's kids are getting so big. It's pretty fun to see how they grow and who they look like and what kinds of funny kid things they say.

So, Oprah told me that if I want to save money on my grocery bill, I need to plan my menus according to coupons and store ads. I'm trying this and so far it's working out fairly well. I'm kind of bummed that the only store ad I get at home now is Food Source. Not that there's anything wrong with that place (tons of deals to be had), but their ad sucks. It's one page, front and back of things I hardly ever buy. White bread? Cupcakes? Sugar cereal? No thanks. When I can, I'll stop in to see what they have in the way of produce. I bought some organic rainbow chard there for cheaper than the co-op. I go online to see the Safeway and Raley's ads. Safeway also has coupons that you can print online, but they're mostly for brand name things that I don't have a need for. I'm looking at you, Glade Plug-Ins! So far, by constructing our dinners around what is in season and on special, I've been able to significantly cut down on my trips to the grocery store and I no longer have that 3PM panic of "OMG, what am I going to cook for dinner?!" The only potential downside is that there might be a little repetition like leftovers or maybe the same vegetable a few different ways all week. A couple of weeks ago, we had potatoes with every meal. Which isn't bad if you're me and you like potatoes. Speaking of potatoes, I found these adorable videos online of a 91 year old lady cooking depression-era meals. They're all based on potatoes and onions!

Ira had a check up today and the doc says he's doing good, but she always seems so concerned and yet not concerned with his weight. I loved what she said to me while looking at his growth chart. "Oh, I see he's in the very low percentile for weight. We will watch this. As you can see, he's following his own curve, which is good. At 18 months, he was in the .88 percentile for weight and now at 2 years he is in the 1st percentile. He is fine!" Okay, so don't worry? Doc, you need to spell it out for me. His height however, shows a nice increase! In the last 6 months he's grown about 5 inches in height, jumping from the 10th percentile to the 50th. Whew! I just want this kid to grow up to be as tall as his dad.

Nothing new on the job front. I've applied for several marketing jobs and they're just not panning out. I might see if I can get in with the state. I think I can rock a lanyard and white tennies pretty well.

Yuck

Sour!
Originally uploaded by riblet.

Ira has a pretty firm concept of the words "yucky and gross." Just like that. If something looks unappealing to him, it's "yucky....and gross." Puddles are yucky and gross. Garbage is yucky and gross. Poop is the end all be all of yucky and gross. Not his poop though. I don't want to give the kid a complex. Though if we see animal poop at the park or wherever, that poop is yucky....and gross. Today he started judging food as yucky or not, much to my lament. I brought some left over curry lentils and potatoes (delish!) to the park today. Ira saw it and instantly declared it "poop." Later as I was cooking some tomato-onion-garlic mixture, he asked to be lifted to see it and then declared that "poop" as well. Oh, brother. Hand this kid anything that looks like fruit or a cookie and he'll gobble it down and yell "mmmm...good!" I can't help but feel totally bummed about Ira's thought's on my food! I know he's just a baby, but what a hater!

He says cute things

Potential Halloween costume
Originally uploaded by riblet.

This week Ira has been cracking me up with cuteness, which is nice because on the other side of this lurk some awful tantrums. Here are a couple good ones:

1. "Haaa nerrr....a hat!" - Singing Hat Nerd by the Four Eyes.
2. "Domo! Mama, Domo! Oh, a Domo! Mamaaaa!" - Upon seeing all the cute Domo signs and toys at Target.
3. "Dada!" - He says this as he brings me an empty beer bottle from the recycling. I'm just happy he's not saying mama instead.
4. "Isaac, soooo iiiiidde!" Cracking himself up remembering the Slow Ride duet he sang with Isaac when he was over this week.

OMG. My wasp sting from last week still itches!